måndag, oktober 13, 2008

När förolämpningar hade klass

I wanna speak to you
Tell me what you have to say
I wanna speak to you
Every night and every day
You can say what you like
We can talk it all night

Steve Miller Band, 1993

Det fanns en tid då förolämpningar på engelska gjordes till stor konst och en lek med ord. Idag har denna konst förkrympts till några få 4-staviga ord som dessutom upprepas till leda. Här följer några exempel på förolämpningar som ändå måste ha gett den förolämpade en anledning att skratta.

Samtal mellan Winston Churchill och Lady Astor: Hon sa, 'If you were my husband I'd give you poison,' var på han svarade, 'If you were my wife, I'd drink it.'

En parlamentsledamot tilltalar Disraeli: 'Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.' 'That depends, Sir,' svarade Disraeli, 'whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.'

'He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.' - Winston Churchill

'A modest little person, with much to be modest about.' - Winston Churchill

'I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.'- Clarence Darrow

'He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary' - William Faulkner om Ernest Hemingway

'Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?' - Hemingway om Faulkner

'Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it.' - Moses Hadas

'He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.' - Abraham Lincoln

'I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.' - Mark Twain

'He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.' - Oscar Wilde

'I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend...if you have one.' - George Bernard Shaw till Winston Churchill

'Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one.' - svarade Winston Churchill

'I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here.' - Stephen Bishop

'He is a self-made man and worships his creator.' - John Bright

'I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.' - Irvin S. Cobb

'He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.' - Samuel Johnson

'There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.' Jack E. Leonard

'He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.' - Robert Redford

'He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.' - Forrest Tucker

'Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?' - Mark Twain

'His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.' - Mae West

'Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.' - Oscar Wilde

'He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts...for support rather than illumination.' - Andrew Lang

'He has Van Gogh's ear for music.' - Billy Wilder

'I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.' - Groucho Marx